Happy Saturday folks! Today was ... drum roll please.....AUDITION DAY!! I'm going to describe to you what a day in the life of Taylor Campbell during audition season is like.

I woke up super early to do a full face of makeup and make sure my hair was presentable. I worked a double shift today so I had to make sure I was at work on time and ready to go so when my manager said to go on break I could sprint to the bathroom and change.

My outfit was exactly what I describe in my last post. Simple black dress, nude heels. That is all. My hair was straight and out of my face so as not to distract from my performance.

I did end up singing the song I posted last week, it's always a hit and always super strong on my part.

The audition panel was filled with people I know and love which is always comforting. I walked in, made a joke about meeting them for the first time, handed my music over to the accompinest, and sang my little heart out. In 16 bars I had to show them that I could still belt my face off and I did just that. There was one lady behind the table that I did not know, she was definitely impressed though. The musical director handed me a book as I walked out and sent me to learn a song really fast. I was the only one to have to do that which is really exciting and promising for me.

Zane, the musical director, and I goofing off during All Shook Up- July '14- Fredericktowne Players

After I sang they had me wait for the rest of the people to sing and then they danced us. They teach us a 16 bar length choreography routine and have us line up and do the dance over and over again. I've been dancing for a while so it was pretty simole. I was surprised how well the rest of the group did, usually there's always somebody who has a hard time learning the choreography that quickly. I was really impressed and excited!

After they danced everybody they released us back into the waiting room. They spoke for a few minutes and then called two names that they wanted to stay and read from the script. It was myself and another girl called for two lead females. Basically they hand you a script and have you cold read  (you haven't read it before and you have to give it your all, character wise) the part. You're supposed to impress them with the small scene they give you.

Everybody else left but myself and the panel. I sang through the song that I had to learn  (in 5 minutes) and talked to everybody I knew. It was nice to see everybody again!

Oh, I forgot to mention...while I was waiting for my audition I had an old friend from a past show come up to me and offer me a part in the show that she was directing in June. So that's another show to add to my list! So exciting!

Then I hurried my way back to work and finished my shift. Now I'm in bed finally. Thank goodness.

So that's what it's like for me on a busy audition day! I loved every second. Hope you enjoyed reading about it!!

Nurses- Catch Me If You Can the Musical- TJ Stage - April '14

So theatre, right? Right. That's the purpose of this blog and unfortunately personal issues are allowed to negatively effect the experience.

Like those two auditions that I was stoked for? Yeah.

I didn't go.

I let my depression get in the way which SUCKS. But oh well, I have an audition this weekend and I am so excited. It's for a show I've never been in with a company that I enjoy. The director, choreographer, and musical director are all people that I have not only worked with before but also have great personal relationships with as well.

Which makes the audition super easy, actually. They know me, they know what I can do, they know how I am to work with. They also understand that I work nonstop on the weekends so they're squeezing me in and being super great about it. I'm a lucky girl with this one.

I'm pretty sure I know what I am singing for this one, just something that I have performed before and have the sheet music for already as well. I'll post a link of the song (being performed by somebody you will definitely recognize) at the end of this post. Yes, I am shamelessly advertising and self-promoting but that is SO IMPORTANT in the theatre world. Who you know, who you reach out to, and how you present yourself everywhere will make or break your career.

I have a classic audition outfit that I generally wear, a simple black dress with nude heels that have a t-strap similar to character shoes that are generally worn by women. BUT they're not character shoes. I don't like the whole "character shoes as real shoes" thing, but I am fine with showing a similar look. Most people would think that you want to wear something brightly colored or flashy to catch the attention of the directors but that is not the move. I wear a plain, basic color that compliments my skin tone but doesn't distract from me as an actress. I know a lot of people who wear colors like red, blue, etc because that is what compliments them best and that is PERFECT. Nothing flashy, no crazy designs, patterns, or logos. You also want an outfit that displays your body type and silhouette to the auditioners. Theatre is a very look-based business which is kind of awful but you also have to think of it as a matter of directors vision and nothing wrong with you. Your outfit should display you as an actor while also not distracting from your talent. You're trying to show yourself, not distract,

So that is your theatre lesson for the week, dress for success (within our crazy little guidelines) and put your best pointed foot forward.

Costumes can be revealing sometimes, that is something the actor has to decide comfort levels on in order to properly perform their role or decide against taking said role. Rocky Horror Picture Show October '14

Fly, Fly Away La Ti Do DC This is the song! If you are interested, feel free to watch!

This blog is all about theatre, right? And theatre deals heavily with the expression and manipulation of emotions, both actor and audience. That is kind of how I am tying in this post today.

I am very comfortable discussing mental health with people. I am actually a psychology major so discussing mental health will be an everyday occurrence for me. Unfortunately, it's not as easy to talk about when it is your own. So many people suffer from mental illness but go untreated because they are embarrassed or afraid of what is going on in their head and body. I was like that for some time, I refused medication for some time, but now I want to come in and be an example for anybody suffering out there. I want to make it known that this is something that can and should be discussed comfortably and that help is readily available whenever one becomes comfortable with that fact.

Mental illness is a chemical imbalance in your brain--that's all there is to it. It is not your fault, you are never to blame for what you were born with or developed over time, but you do need to reach out for help. That's that. Help also does not necessarily mean medication. As I stated above, I was heavily against medication for a long time. I would refuse to take it or even lie about taking it to get my family and psychiatrist off my back. Not a good move... To have success in your treatment you have to be honest with all parties involved.

I suffer from severe depressive disorder and severe anxiety (at least that's what they say right now). It effects every single day and I never know exactly how or when it will come about. I haven't been very active with my blog these past two weeks. Or really active with anything for that matter. I've been pushing away family and friends, work and hobbies, and even theatre... The combination of the two diseases I have can be crippling for me and when it hits hard, as it has this month, I become a different person. A person I don't like or know. A person my family and friends have a hard time being around because I'm either so scared of everything and super emotional or I will just sit in silence for hours, expressionless and emotionless.

The greatest impacted aspect of my life is my relationship. Because of my past I have trust issues and abandonment issues and a general relationship anxiety issue. I am so lucky to have a boyfriend who is understanding and loves me through all of this. He has seen me at my worst (three years ago when I wasn't medicated and I was still in denial of my childhood abuse) and at my best (probably about a month and a half ago before my meds started fighting me). These last few weeks have been really hard for us and I almost lost him over my actions that were caused by the chemicals. I would have never forgiven myself if I pushed him away because of these diseases. He is my best friend and I don't know how I would do without him. I wish I could express to him how sorry I am for pushing him away and questioning his intentions. I love the kid more than I ever thought was possible for me. It is possible to find somebody through all of this nonsense, I promise. It wont be easy for either of you but it will be so worth it.

Kevin & I at his junior prom. (Yes I was blonde, don't talk about it) May '13

Kevin and I together for his birthday. April '16

I'm not writing this for my audience to feel bad for me. I am getting the help I need right now and I am determined to find a way to normalize the chemicals in my brain. I am doing what is healthy for me and I am attempting to stand as an example. This isn't something to be ashamed of. It sucks and I hate it and I wish I didn't have to deal with it. But I do. I've accepted that. That's the first step in getting better. If you are questioning or suffering silently, I encourage you at least schedule an appointment with a psychiatric professional. This isn't something that has to ruin your life. Fight back.

As you can tell, I am a theatre person... theatre is my greatest passion in life, but being a theatre person generally comes with a few fun things, at least with my theatre crowd (no unnecessary generalizations here, folks).
1: I live for instant gratification...
Basically this means that I procrastinate. And I procrastinate HARD. Let me explain specifically what I'm talking about in this situation. I have an audition tomorrow and an audition Tuesday. And I have NO IDEA WHAT MATERIAL I AM USING. Which is great, right? Wrong. I'm freaking out a little bit. So here I am, the night before my audition, picking out songs and cuts...why do I do this to myself?

Phantoms- Rocky Horror Picture Show- Towson University Actor's Anonymous

2: I'm honestly terrible at scheduling.
But only when  it comes to theatre... I don't know why, but because of this a few things are a little messed up. Monday and Tuesday of this week are going to be ridiculously busy between planning for my trip out of town, getting in family time, class, the gym, and work. That's just two days and I'm terrified about how it's going to go.

3: I don't want to admit this, but I'm nervous for these auditions. Really, really nervous. I havent auditioned for anything in over a year and suddenly I have three. I also had a moment of (unfortunate ans stressful) clarity the other day. Two of the shows I'm auditioning for have overlapping performance dates which means that I'll have some serious decisions to make if I get offered a role.

Another thing that makes me nervous? I am theatrically blessed, so much so that it is rare for me to audition for a show that is being directed by somebody I don't know  (or know well for that matter). The two auditions this week are those rare occasions. The directors know of me, but whether that's a good thing or a bad thing is up in the air. The theatre world is small and word spreads like wildfire. If you're affiliated with the wrong name or show it could ruin your chances of scoring a role. I have a few of those affiliations, unfortunately. Luckily it's not because of my actions or any show that I was in, but there are still some names that may cause some dark marks on my record. Although this is the unfortunate side of how close the theatre world is, there's also a lot of positivity that comes with it. Small world means knowing people at the audition and hopefully in the show as well. I'm the luckiest girl in the world when it comes to having beautiful friendships because of shows.

My best friend Cody and I celebrating after a successful promotional performance for The Wedding Singer 

Well. Wish me luck! Actually... don't. I'm far too superstitious for that.